Full article in English · Original author text
When a teen says “I can’t beat this opponent,” what answer actually helps? Confidence is built from small pieces of evidence that you can do something, and from solving problems yourself, not from a promise that you’ll win. I suggest gradual practice, precise feedback, and giving the fencer a say. Here’s how those three things look in fencing. My private lessons at camps on Jeju Island in South Korea are a good backdrop for explaining how I see individual coaching. In that kind of coaching, the problem has to be clear enough that the fencer can spot it, try something, and see the result. I tie lasting confidence to that process.
Who is this for, and what do we mean by confidence?
This article is for teenage fencers and coaches in all three weapons; the practice example is épée. Here, confidence means believing you can carry out one specific task in specific conditions. “I can check the distance before I attack” is something you can lean on more than “I’m always a champion.” Parents help too, by focusing on effort and learning and keeping room open to experiment.
Three pillars: ability, choice, and bounce-back
The first pillar is a skill the fencer has really practiced. The second is the chance to choose between several fitting responses. The third is the ability to bounce back after a mistake.
If a fencer only succeeds against a completely cooperative opponent, we still don’t know whether the skill holds up when the opponent changes behavior. On the other hand, always putting them against a much stronger opponent can cut down their chances of a meaningful success. In my view, the difficulty should be enough to make the fencer look and decide, but still leave room to correct. Praise should be precise and honest: “When the distance got too big, you stopped the attack.” Feedback like that tells the teen which behavior is worth repeating. Vague praise gives them nothing to use at the next practice.
Teaching scenario: from a memorized move to a real choice
In épée, a teen is afraid the opponent will take their blade. First, the disengage, meaning the point passes out of the way of the opponent’s blade as it searches, is taught with a small movement. If it’s done from the wrong distance, even a clean movement doesn’t create a chance to score. So you check access to the target and body control first, and then you add changing the blade’s path. In the next stage, the opponent sometimes searches for the blade and sometimes leaves the line open. The fencer has to choose between a direct attack and a disengage. Doing the disengage on every repetition isn’t success, because the goal is reading the opponent. As the opponent gets more freedom, the teen’s confidence should rest on recognizing cues, not on a training partner who always cooperates.
A practice ladder in three steps
Step one is two sets of six repetitions at a controlled speed. The opponent has a pre-set behavior and the coach corrects only one point. Once the execution is steady, step two begins with two choices for the opponent; the fencer doesn’t know in advance which one will come. Step three is two short free bouts, where the right choice is logged in addition to the score. These numbers are suggested starting points and change with the fencer’s age, readiness, and focus. Practice should be in full protective gear and under the coach’s supervision. If errors pile up, look at the cause first: is the distance hard, is the opponent’s cue unclear, or is fatigue high? Simplifying one variable is more useful than repeating “be confident.”
A notebook of evidence, not compliments
At the end of the session, the teen writes three sentences: “Today I managed to...”, “I still struggle with... in these conditions,” and “Next session I’ll try...” There should be an observable example behind the first sentence. The coach can review a short video clip with permission and with respect for privacy. Don’t publish a child’s mistakes for public comparison. A common mistake is to pick only easy bouts to protect confidence. The opposite mistake is using a heavy loss as a tool to “toughen them up.” The more effective path is gradual challenge and clear feedback. A child has a right to be upset; the coach’s job is to help turn that upset into a technical question that can be solved.
Confidence isn’t meant to remove fear
A teen who’s nervous before stepping onto the strip doesn’t necessarily have low confidence. They may understand the importance of the competition and still have a plan for the start. I see lasting confidence in a sentence like “I know what I can do if this happens.” A sentence like “I’ll definitely win” is about an outcome the opponent also has a say in, so it can’t be guaranteed. So if your child says they’re nervous, don’t immediately try to wipe out the feeling. Ask which part of the competition feels uncertain: the start of the bout, a tall opponent, the refereeing, or your reaction after a loss? Each answer leads to a different path. Practicing a simple start helps with technical worry; making sure the family’s respect isn’t in question clears up the relationship issue. A single motivational slogan isn’t enough for all of these.
Give feedback that’s still useful tomorrow
“You were great” feels good, but it doesn’t tell the fencer which behavior to repeat. More precise feedback is: in one specific chance, you saw the reaction of the opponent’s hand before attacking and picked the right path. That feedback is tied to observed behavior. If the choice was right but the final execution failed, name both; keep the good decision and design separate practice for the execution. On the other hand, praising every effort no matter its quality doesn’t give useful information either. When a teen attacks again and again with the same ineffective method, just saying “well done for keeping going” isn’t enough. Persistence helps learning when it comes with correction. You can say, “I see your effort; now let’s look at which cue you’re spotting late.” A warm tone and technical precision go together.
Make the challenge harder by one variable at a time
In a drill on choosing between a direct attack and a disengage, first keep distance and speed fairly constant so the fencer can read the blade’s reaction. Then change only one condition; for example, the defender sometimes opens the distance a little. If speed, distance, weapon hand, and score pressure all change at once, it’s hard to tell why it failed. The teen only collects the experience of “I can’t,” without knowing what to fix. At the end of each round, ask them to explain the cue they saw. If the choice was right but the touch didn’t land, the distance or hand-and-foot coordination probably needs a look. If they didn’t see the defender’s reaction at all, take the drill back to the cue-reading stage. This step back is a teaching move, not a failure; it’s a way of finding the weak link in the chain and shouldn’t come with blame.
When they’re fencing a stronger opponent
A stronger opponent can be a great chance to learn, as long as the goal stays clear. For a practice bout, pick just one problem: for example, keeping your balance after a failed attack. The teen isn’t expected to make up every technical gap in that one session. After a few exchanges, the coach can remind them of one useful cue and give them another go. At the same time, always practicing against easy opponents doesn’t build lasting confidence either. A fencer needs to experience that the first plan sometimes doesn’t work and there’s still room to change. Match opponents and difficulty to the goal of the session. You can see the quality of that matching when the athlete can explain their success and also imagine a way out for the next mistake.
Turning the inner voice into an instruction they can use
“I always mess up” isn’t an accurate description, and it doesn’t suggest any specific move. Ask the teen to turn the sentence into an observation: in my last two attacks I started from far away. Then have them build a short instruction: distance first, then decision. This instruction needs to be tried in practice so it feels familiar in competition. Long, multi-step phrases are hard to use under pressure.
If a fencer prefers not to say a phrase and just focus on one outside cue, that choice works too. What matters is that their attention goes back to the next task, not that they complete a fixed mental ritual. Sometimes the coach’s question alone is enough: in the next exchange, what do you want to see? The answer should be short and tied to the real situation on the strip.
See confidence outside the results table too
Can the teen ask a question, say they need help, and own a mistake without putting themselves down? These behaviors matter for their growth. At home, let them talk about school, friendships, and other interests too. If every conversation circles back to sports ranking, one bad day at a competition could take over their whole picture of themselves. For next week, pick one piece of evidence of ability and one problem that can be practiced. The evidence has to be real and the problem has to be a size you can work on. Confidence grows from putting those two sentences side by side: there’s something I know how to do, and there’s something I can still learn. That view lets a teen go into practice with hope, without having to look flawless. The Positive Coaching Alliance’s guide to confidence stresses clear goals and steady support [1]. The exercises in this article are my own teaching suggestions for turning those general principles into things you can observe in fencing; they aren’t therapy or a guarantee of results.
Frequently asked questions
Should we always praise? No. Give honest, specific feedback; notice the success and also point to one way to correct. What do we say if a teen says “I have no talent”? Ask which situation set off that feeling and separate the problem from who they are; then build a small, measurable task. Is low confidence always technical? No. Relationship pressure, an experience of humiliation, or problems outside the sport can play a part too; don’t limit the conversation to the strip.
Wrap-up and next step
Now you know where to build confidence from: one specific skill, gradual challenge, and real evidence of progress. At the next practice, pick one difficult situation and build its three-step ladder. Every good decision is a concrete reason to trust your own ability more. To carry this over into competition, read the article on managing pre-competition anxiety.
Sources and further reading
[1] PCA: How Parents/Caregivers Can Help Athletes Build Confidence
Altri articoli di scherma del coach Yousef →
